April 27, 2009
1. So Saturday night I was watching a Medical Mystery Drama about these sick children (AND WAS THE BABYSITTER MAKING THEM SICK?) when bam the power went out. And stayed out. And then it got dark. And then I sat on my couch with the dogs and instant-messaged my favorite co-worker on my phone for two hours. And then I went to bed.
2. The power was out for eight hours total and the take-home message here is that I would be a terrible pioneer. I had TELEVISION PLANS and they were thwarted and then what the hell was I supposed to do? Other than instant-messaging on my phone and going to sleep I had absolutely no idea what I could do in the pitch dark (and no, I did not have candles because that alone would have made me a PASSABLE PIONEER).
3. The following day when the lights came back on I rolled around on the floor with a blender set to CRUSH in one hand and my fully charged and buzzing Sonicare toothbrush in the other. I watched TV and read a book and took no less than three showers. It was an orgy of electricity use and I loved every second of it.
4. Even though I immigrated to Canada three years ago I am still an American at heart and I blame her, that native-born American inside of me, for pausing between showers two and three to watch TV, browse the internet and eat waffles on the couch. Simultaneously. As the good Lord intended.
April 23, 2009
1. I know you have already heard this story but I have this friend named Catie and every time we talk to each other all day long we start out by saying LISTEN and you know what? We’re already listening. I think we just like bellowing.
2. The bellowing is kind of a recurring theme. I like bellowing, I love it when cars honk uselessly, and you can win my heart forever by unleashing one really good MOTHERFUCKER.
3. This week I have had the sort of week where it is Thursday and I all of the sudden I realize ha ha ha I wore yoga pants to work every single day this week. And then when I come home from work I have to spend quality time with my Secret Television Boyfriend Detective Elliot Stabler who is the sexiest man alive. And then after two-three hours of my Secret Television Boyfriend Detective Elliot Stabler I write and edit and write and edit and whoops, it is 11 PM and I am working from home without really meaning to.
4. And then I go to bed.
April 13, 2009
1. I kept trying to write this entry about how angry I was; how my whole body was full of rage and how I wanted to change that because I didn’t think it was healthy but I didn’t really know what to say. I mean, other than: I tried to be kind instead of angry but instead I was just incredibly sad.
2. When my best friend was dying I drove her across the island we were living on to go to a doctor’s appointment. She had this tumor in her spine that was crushing her vertebrae so I had to drive really slowly and avoid any bumps or sudden movements. As we drove this guy tail-gated us and beeped and swerved and cursed until I reached a point in the road that I could safely pull over and let him pass. And then he passed me and beeped and swerved some more. When I have moments where I am feeling like that man I try to remember that maybe the person who is driving me crazy is having the very worst day of their life and I should treat them kindly.
3. Basically right now that means that alternate between wanting to throw hydrochloric acid all over the face of that annoying kid on the streetcar and worrying that every single bird in the sky is going to die of hunger and freeze to death all at once.
4. And that sometimes it feels incredibly hard to be alive when everyone else is alive right next to you.
April 4, 2009
1. I should probably just tell you now that I really hate washing my face. I love being clean and I think it’s important to take care of my skin but oh my god first there is the lathering and then my shirt gets all wet and then maybe I got all the suds off MAYBE I DID NOT.
2. Sometimes when I am work I will drop a piece of food — a Pringle, the edge of a sandwich roll, a unused lozenge — and then thirty seconds later I realize, oh, right, none of my coworkers are dogs so I guess I have to pick that up.
3. I am really in love with these initial cards from Thornwillow Press. I want to buy the entire alphabet.
4. PS: there is really nothing funnier than a dog eating a lozenge.