June 3, 2009
1. When I lived in China I reached a point after six or so months where I was bone-tired of every single possible food choice available. Walking around the dark alley markets and modestly stocked grocery stores was less like shopping alone and more like shopping with a petulant toddler. “Do you want chicken?” NO “Do you want broccoli?” NO.
2. Eventually I would buy a single egg, a cup of rice; maybe some fresh (and overpriced) cherries or green beans. Simply thinking about eating was tiring and my kitchen didn’t help: I had a single burner hooked to a propane tank and a refrigerator the size of a breadbox.
3. Right now I’m eight months into the world’s longest divorce. Around month four I started feeling nauseated all the time, later I’d throw up on my way to work, rebound, throw up dinner and feel nauseated all the next day. It went on for months. I took a half-dozen pregnancy test, I limited my diet to applesauce; rice and toast and continued to throw up, I went to the doctor who prescribed some (useless) pills and told me my husband had cheated on me because people are drawn to marry their own parents.
4. Meanwhile pretty much everything made me sick, except pepperoni pizza, gummy vitamins, and Cookies & Cream ice cream. Everything else was hit and miss.
5. And for the record, the idea that we were dating our own parents didn’t even make sense and it was then and there that I dumped my doctor even though his name was Dr. Howie Mandel and HOW CAN YOU GO WRONG with a doctor named Dr. Howie Mandel?
6. So today I am not feeling that great and it took me a long time to decide what to have for dinner (because we were out of pepperoni pizza). But mostly I feel better and for the first time in my epic divorce (which hasn’t actually been epic unless you were living it and then it SURE AS HELL FELT EPIC) I am getting excited about what’s coming next. At first I was loathe to start my whole entire life over from scratch for no reason but now, you know what? I’m taking it as an opportunity to move on to bigger and better things.
7. Also I got a 19% raise at work this week.