January 1, 2013
I haven’t written here in a year but I’m interested in doing the end of the year review anyway. Here we go.
1. What did you do in 2012 that you’d never done before?
Well, shit. I had surgery and spent three nights in the hospital and then I had a lot of severe allergic reactions and spent a lot time in the ER. I started going to church and started oil painting (landscapes) and I started a tai chi practice. I broke off an engagement. I went to the movies on Christmas Day.
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Sort of. My resolutions were to stop carrying so much fucking stuff in my purse, do some neck/shoulder stretches every night because my neck was a total disaster and to start dressing more mindfully. I did decently well with not carrying a bunch of stuff in my purse, I totally NAILED IT in regard to my neck problem and sort of like the year before, dressing well was a mixed bag. For next year, I want to do some things I’m not ready to talk about on the internet and I want to keep up my tai chi practice like some sort of hippie or something.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
I feel like this answer is the same every year. My sister had a baby. Her fifth.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
This year, my friend Violet died on May 29 and my friend Lynn died on December 12. They were both too young. A week after Lynn died, her godson, someone I’d known since he was a kid, disappeared on the Hudson River and is presumed dead. He was 26.
5. What countries did you visit?
Mexico and the US, same as usual. I don’t think I went to California this year (I usually do) but I went to NY six or seven times and I spent three perfect days on the ocean in New Jersey by myself.
6. What would you like to have in 2013 that you lacked in 2012?
I really did not lack anything this year. Truly, my life is full.
7. What dates from 2012 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Lynn dying, certainly. She asked me to come to NY and be with her and it was one of the most special and meaningful times in my life. And the day that I ended my relationship.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I made a really big decision that I can’t talk about on the internet yet. That was it.
9. What was your biggest failure?
This sounds awful, but I kind of didn’t have one.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Jesus H, yes. I was off of work for four weeks after my surgery and then there were all of the visits to the ER with head-to-toe hives. I mean, other than THAT I was healthy, though.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
The money that I paid my house cleaner and my cat groomer was the best money I spent all year.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Mine. My friend Andrew’s. And Lynn’s, too. To her dying day — and I’m using that term literally — she was kind and smart and funny and insightful.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
My mother’s. As well as many of the people she’s related to, unfortunately.
14. Where did most of your money go?
15. What did you get really excited about?
I got excited about living in my apartment alone again, after Bill moved out.
16. What song will always remind you of 2012?
The Les Mis soundtrack, which I listened to a lot this summer.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
– happier or sadder? The last three years my answer was “happier, by far” and that’s also my answer this year. My capacity for joy, like my capacity for grief, is basically limitless.
– thinner or fatter? Thinner.
– richer or poorer? Richer, actually.
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
I don’t have regrets about this year. I had to make some really hard decisions but they were the best thing I could have done.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
I wish I had spent less nights uselessly staying up too late and just gotten more sleep for the love of god.
20. How did you spend Christmas?
I worked on Christmas Eve and then on Christmas Day, went to see Les Mis with a friend.
21. Did you fall in love in 2012?
I fell more in love with my cat, who is the most ridiculous and charming cat ever. And my new nephew — when he was four months old my sister spent a week in jail and I watched him and his two-year old sister and oh my gosh, that baby. He is a sweetheart. A hammy little sweetheart.
22. What was your favorite TV program?
Downton Abbey, again, and Suits.
23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
24. What was the best book you read?
I read some really wonderful books, essays and emails by David Rakoff, who was a friend of a friend. (And who also died this year — who didn’t die this year?)
25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
My music tastes continue to be pedestrian to the point of embarrassment.
26. What did you want and get?
I wanted desperately to be single and live alone again, and I got that. I wanted my friends to know how much I love them before they died and I was lucky enough to get that as well. I wanted to lose weight, and I did.
27. What did you want and not get?
I wanted to resolve my myriad allergies and instead I developed new allergies and started having even more severe reactions. I do want to make headway with this in 2013 because I’d really love to be able to eat a fucking apple. For example.
28. What was your favorite film of this year?
I actually saw two movies in the theater this year, which is two more than I see in the average year. But not much beats the series run of Frasier, which I watched while I was recovering from surgery. God, that was such a good show.
29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I was 32. I had just returned from a week at my sister’s house watching her kids while she was in jail, and I took Bill out for dinner to thank him for helping to look after my cat while I was away. I had a really, really good glass of wine at dinner — it was seriously so good I am thinking about it three months later.
30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
I would have liked to have a glimpse into the future to see that yes, all of these hard and scary things I was hesitating to do were going to be right and good and TOTALLY WORTH IT. Also, I really want curly hair.
31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2012?
Oh, hell. I don’t know.
32. What kept you sane?
Therapy, dear friends, long walks.
33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Obama. And Patrick J. Adams.
34. What political issue stirred you the most?
I live in Canada, so I have the luxury of being mostly unstirred by political issues.
35. Who did you miss?
All of my dead friends, I guess.
36. Who was the best new person you met?
I had known Lynn’s sister for many years, of course, but she and I became closer this year, so I’ll say her.
37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2012.
I say this as tongue in cheek as possible, but at the same time, honestly, YOLO.